A Baby Step
My camera roll is starting to have a lot of pictures of food again. It seems so silly to recognize this as progress but I haven’t had the passion for food and drink, let alone the urge to document beautiful food for quite some time.
In some seasons of life food is delicious and heart and soul and body and mind nourishing and so enjoyable. In other seasons of life it’s just food. The postpartum phase has been mostly the latter for me.
Because I have mental health concerns in my family we put it as a ‘flag in my file’ for all those working with me during pregnancy and postpartum to watch out for it. 2 weeks ago my therapist and I figured I was probably floating up and down and around the cusp of PPD and to reach out for further support. So I took another big step and joined a local postpartum support group. I initially felt stupid, every other mom was in the newborn-ish stage and I am 8 months postpartum. But struggle is struggle.
It’s a sloooow process getting to know this new mom-version of me—slower than I anticipated—rediscovering passion and drive and interest and taste and joy. But right now I’ll take a renewed vigour of eating delicious foods as a baby step in the right direction.
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If you or someone you love seems “off” after baby, reach out for help. Postpartum depression signs and symptoms may include:
- Depressed mood or severe mood swings
- Excessive crying
- Difficulty bonding with your baby
- Withdrawing from family and friends
- Loss of appetite or eating much more than usual
- Inability to sleep (insomnia) or sleeping too much
- Overwhelming fatigue or loss of energy
- Reduced interest and pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
- Intense irritability and anger
- Fear that you're not a good mother
- Hopelessness
- Feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt or inadequacy
- Diminished ability to think clearly, concentrate or make decisions
- Restlessness
- Severe anxiety and panic attacks
- Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
- Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide